(I wrote this last week, but never posted it!)We are in the middle of week four in a six week process. Week four hasn't been fun. The medicine builds up more and more in her system with each day and with each day she becomes more tired. Clara Jean has now gained right at ten pounds. This is because the steroids are causing her to be hungry - ALL THE TIME!!! If I told you what she is eating in one day, you may not believe me! CJ is also retaining water. So her little hands and feet are swollen, as is her face. Her sweet cheeks are all puffed out. Her belly is also bloated, and it is making it somewhat hard for her to breath. Her breathing sounds labored, most of the time. Her hair is thinning a little, but it isn't all that obvious. Almost every afternoon she takes a nap. Today she kept saying, "but I'm not tired!" Then she climbed into my bed and slept for three hours.
School starts next week and I have to tell you, I am pretty nervous about how she'll do. She has been attached to me all summer. I have been the constant in her life. Now, more than ever before she looks to me. Looks to see if I am sad. Looks to see if I am scared. I am her rock. I am the thing that hasn't changed. And to be honest, I am going to have a pretty hard time keeping a smile on my face when I have to leave her at school. Not to mention the constant eating and need for a daily nap. How is she going to do that, at school?
I am hoping that after the six week round of chemo ends, she will start to feel a little more like herself and maybe start to look more like herself again. I just don't know if a two week break will make that much of a difference. After the six weeks are over, she will have a chemo treatment and a week's worth of steroid, every third week. I don't know how she'll feel through that, but I have to think that she'll feel better than she does now.
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